ARGH

There is a physician from a local urgent care facility whose handwriting drives me up the wall. (Well, I guess if you want to call it that. The handwriting, not the wall.)

If a patient ever hands me a script with the little box checked next to his name, I groan inwardly and automatically tack on at least 10 minutes to the fill time, cause I know I'll be a callin'. "But hey, ADHD," you must be thinking, "at least he has the presence of mind to check the little box, right?"

It doesn't matter, trust me. You know who he is, even if he doesn't sign it, as his chicken scratch is that bad. (I swear whenever he writes 'Bactrim DS' it looks exactly like 'Batman'.)

The archaic markings on the little green paper appears as though a chicken crapped on its claws, mainlined some heroin, subsequently had a stroke, and in its death throes sort of scratched some of its shit all over the prescription in a manner vaguely resembling the English alphabet.

What really get me is that he doesn't even write the full name of the patient at the top, just the first three letters of both the first and last name (ie: for John Smith, he'll put 'Joh Smi') yet instead of putting '#30', he will actually write out "Dispense 30 tablets".

I chickenshit you not.