Being ADD does not make me a retard

I do not like forgeries.

If you are trying to pass a forgery on to my pharmacy, then I do not like you.

If you have the audacity to bitch about a price match on your forged drugs, then your likelihood of being arrested goes up by about 500%.

(Calling me a "faggot" and an "asshole" really doesn't help your case, either.)

Threatening me with bodily harm makes me happy. You see, I've had a very bad day and I am very interested in improving certain martial arts forms I learned last week.


But I can say I have a grudging sort of admiration to the lengths people are willing to go to get their hillybilly heroin.

Case #1: Lady drops off a new Rx for some (insert favorite Schedule II here). About #120 of them. New patient, cash only, yadda yadda yadda, you know the red flags. After hours, naturally, although this doesn't really stop me from paging anyone. Printed on watermarked paper. (Very clever, but undaunting. This is easily bought. Having that VOIDVOIDVOIDDONTPHOTOCOPY shit all over the back is pretty irrelevant to me.) All in all, a very well made script. (As a former art student, I am impressed.) I relay my suspicions to the pharmacist. She agrees, and calls the number that is printed on the top of the Rx. A few seconds later, a strange look crosses her face, and she leaves a message. She looks at me and says that something isn't right. Where is the answering service?

I decide to call the number myself. A nice, professional message greets me and encourages me to leave a message. I do not, and hang up. Pharmacist seems confused. And so I am, for a moment.

Then I had a eureka moment. The DEA number, the address and the name of the doctor were all correct, but I became convinced that the phone was not. I called again. No answer. And again.
And again. (I'm trying to piss someone off, in case you haven't guessed.) Then, after two more attempts, I get a grumpy old lady pick up. With a TV blaring in the background. I laugh and hang up on her.

VERY clever. Very clever indeed.